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if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
im not crying there’s just overpriced college education in my eye
It’s almost as if it’s not his kid but it’s his suitcase so he keeps going.
ONLY A QUARTER WHAT A STEAL
dog trying to save fishes
im making friends with the netflix customer service guy
how sweet of you
I’M TALKING TO A DIFFERENT ONE AND TROY ASKED ABOTU ME
when kids stare at you for a long time
do well in school kids, because if you do you might become an astronaut and get to leave the god-forsaken shitscape of earth for good
"how many tv shows do you watch?"